Wanted Soccer Parent

We have multiple openings available in congress this fall. The ideal candidate will have the following qualifications:

Must set the alarm to rise while its still dark, shower and dress, make the coffee, wake the kids, get them dressed, make them breakfast, make sure their homework is done and in their backpack, make them lunch, make sure they have their freshly laundered soccer uniform and cleats, pack them into the minivan, drop them at school, get to work, complete 8 hours of work in 5 hours, pickup prescriptions at the drug store, do the grocery shopping including a large bag of oranges, race home, put the groceries away, cut up the oranges, get to the soccer game, cheer on the team, serve the oranges at half time, console the losers and congratulate the winners, pack the kids back in the minivan, bring them home, get them in the shower, help them with their homework, clean the house, make the dinner, pay the bills, set the table, serve the dinner and when you final get to sit for a minute and enjoy your 1st real meal of the day, lend a sympathetic ear to your significant other as they tell you about their tough day.

This is my ideal candidate for congress, someone who can get things done.

Or we can send back the same old politicians time and time again hoping we get a different result. Its up to you, but if you chose the latter, don't complain to me, you made your bed, sleep in it.